Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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