It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
