I like to think it a success when the cops are called
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
