Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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