Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And the cops told us we were all naked.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm at about main and main street
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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