even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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