Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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