You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
