I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
