dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
