Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize