I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
