just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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