your room smells of hookers.
And success
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize