Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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