Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
