don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
