I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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