I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
