You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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