She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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