it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
