This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
