Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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