Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
love makes seman taste better
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
