She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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