I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
