dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
