I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
