I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just high enough for therapy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
