this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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