You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize