At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
