You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The struggles of a small town man whore
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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