I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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