If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
