i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
