just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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