cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
