Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
