Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
