Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
