we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
