Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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