best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize