I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
