There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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