We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
