Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
