I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
