Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
