1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
