clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize