Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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