What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
