You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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