Please, let me fuck your mom
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
