i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
