i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
