Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize