i think my mom watched the whole time
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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