the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
