I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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